The Michael Jackson Reference

In high school, I was far from a Casanova, and approaching women I liked would always make me nervous. I mean SUPER nervous, more nervous than I should be I can tell you that. What was it about the opposite sex that intimidated me so much? They breathed the same air as me, they walked on two legs like me, and some of them even failed classes like me. With that being said approaching girls directly wasn’t going to work for me, and when trying to date you really only have two game plans (this is before social media, online dating etc.) either suck it up and take on rejection face to face, or get hooked up. I most always went with the latter. For me the “hook up” was like the drive-thru of high school dating, it was such a simple idea! You have friends that have girlfriends, and those girlfriends are bound to have girlfriends of their own. So, you just tell your friend, “Hey buddy, I think Amy is cute. Hook me up”, and BOOM you’re in, right?  That was pretty much my go-to expression when it came to bugging my friends about this. It’s no wonder I wasn’t getting any “4 your eyez only notes”, from girls. The cardinal rules were the two C’s. you had to either have confidence or conversation. I had neither. I wasn’t even calm, cool and collected. But getting back to my friend’s girlfriend’s. seeing that I was a loner, I really didn’t have your traditional “friends” I just had the children of my mom’s friends that I sometimes would hang out with. I recall one girl that my friend tried to hook me up with. The workflow went something like this, I liked my friend’s girlfriend’s friend named… well we’ll just call her Girl A. I told him that I thought she was cute, and he relayed the message and… the feeling wasn’t mutual. When I heard the news that she not only wasn’t interested, but was actually repulsed by me calling me every ugly name she could think of (this was pretty typical for me, but this time seemed to hurt more than the others). I received the news and I did something very, very, very immature, and I still regret it to this day. As a disclaimer, I have to remind you that this was high school, and we were all dumb, childish and immature. Before I tell you what I said, let me give you a little backstory on Girl A. She was a very quiet girl with super curly hair, and a thin pointy nose. So, I said…again please know that I was young and just hurt by rejection, that’s the only reason I would say something like this to Girl A. Anyway, getting past all the dramatics, after hearing her verbal assault on me I said to my friend (the one who relayed the message) that Girl A looked like Michael Jackson. Somehow this info got back to Girl A, and she was BROKEN! I felt so bad. Everyone in school was laughing at her, and singing Billie Jean and moonwalking in front of her in the hallway it was nuts! Girl A’s friend even cursed me out in the lunch room in front every student, every teacher, and even the vice principal. The craziest part about this is the fact that after that day Girl A NEVER wore her hair curly again. Even to this day she still wears her hair pressed. She also hates me with a passion, even with all that having taken place 13+ years ago she still won’t accept my friend requests on social media. Unfortunately, this is just the one of my MANY dating fails. Maybe I’ll listen to Thriller tonight.

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